Thursday, September 3, 2009

Why Men Dump Women: The Inside Story

By Paul Lindquist

Why did he dump me? How did this happen? What went wrong? Why did he just break up without notice? How can I win him back?

Getting dumped always stings, even if it wasn't a very serious relationship, and ultimately there are millions of questions regarding why men dump women buzzing around in the dumpee's head that seemingly have no answers.

Take a step back. You wont be able to find a straightforward answer to why men dump women. If you truly want to find out why you were dumped, there's really only one way to get the answer-and even then you can never be 100% sure.

But if you really want to know the truth, the only way to get it is by asking him directly. A word of caution here though. Don't ask right away after you were dumped. Wait at least a couple months without calling him, then make contact again.

This is important. It should be detached but friendly, and with no hint of antagonism whatsoever. It is okay to ask though. In fact, sometimes it is absolutely necessary for 'closure', which some women need and some don't.

Common reasons cited for why men dump women are too numerous to count: you didn't have sex enough, you were too naggy/clingy/whiny/needy, the relationship got boring, you wanted too much commitment, you didn't stroke his ego enough, the list goes on and on, and is meaningless.

The real reason why men dump women could be any of the above, or none of them. You will never know till you ask, and even then you may never know. This is because most people you meet will have all kinds of defense mechanisms up to protect themselves from their own emotions-oh yes, their own emotions!

The truth is that lots of people these days have put up so many walls of defense when it comes to their emotions that they no longer have any idea how they feel about something, or why they feel the way they do. This is particularly true in the case of relationships.

So make a true assessment about what role each of you played in the relationship breaking up and show a willingness to move on with life(actually, you may also find that doing these things will put you in a position to win him back, if you are still interested). Think about it. If you appear not to be desperate, but instead to have it all together and be ready to move on, he will see you differently. This may pique his curiosity and make him want to restore the relationship.

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